So, pre-plastic surgery Sylvester Stallone was pretty great and all, but I cannot tell you how many times I said, “This is weird”, while watching “Rocky”. Maybe it’s because I’m not really into boxing movies or perhaps it’s because the Italian Stallion seemed to have a few screws loose. Either way, I’d like to think that I gave it a fair shot. I even put my phone in the next room so I wouldn’t be distracted. For reals!
The one great thing I can say about this movie is it is FULL of great quotes (and you will be happy to know that I have sarcastically documented all of them for you). Here goes…
“You’re gonna eat lightnin’ and you’re gonna crap thunder!” – Mickey
“If I can change, you can change. EVERYBODY CAN CHANGE!” – Rocky
Adrian: “Rocky, why do you fight?”
Rocky: “Because I can’t sing and dance.”
If that’s the only reason why you get your face beat in for a living, you should probably reevaluate your choice of profession.
“It ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you get hit and keep moving forward.” – Rocky
Yeah, but if you could NOT get hit, wouldn’t that be better?
“If I can go that distance, ya see, and that bell rings, ya know, and I’m still standin’, I’m gonna know for the first time in my life, ya see, that I weren’t just another bum from the neighborhood.” – Rocky
If by “that distance” you mean “to grammar school”, then I think you’re headed in the right direction.
At the end of the day, I get it. “Rocky” is the classic tale of an underdog turned hero. But, if surviving 15 rounds in a boxing ring makes you a hero (and wins you a few Academy Awards) then I’ll never earn my stripes. I broke a nail once and I cried for days.
Lastly, Imma just leave this here:
My official rating: