Monthly Archives: May 2014

You Talkin’ To Me?

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Last night I watched “Taxi Driver” for the very first time. (I’m going to keep using that phrase for emphasis.)

Whoa.

I’m not going to go all “film student” on you and do an in depth analysis of the film and it’s hidden meanings. Nope. Ain’t nobody got time fo dat. But, I’ll do you one better…

Here are a few life lessons that I learned from the film:

Lesson #1 – Do not assume that every movie about a man driving a car is going to be like “Driving Miss Daisy”. (Thankfully the creepy jazz music clued me in before it was too late.)

Lesson #2 – Never underestimate the power of a clean conscience or lack thereof.

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Lesson #3 – If you shoot someone’s fingers off, they will gush blood vigorously for a while.

Lesson #4 – Moonlighting as a taxi cab driver will make you lonely and crazy, among other things.

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Lesson #5 – Before you do something crazy, shave your hair into a mohawk first. Ya know, for emphasis.

Lesson #6 –  Ladies, take note. This is what happens when you reject a psychopath. I’m looking at you, Betsy.

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Lesson #7: If you’ve made it past the age of 26 without going postal, give yourself a slow clap. You’ve just one-upped Travis Bickle.

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At the risk of offending film nerds around the globe, this movie is a little overrated, IMHO. There, I’ve said it. Now, I’m off to bed to sleep with one eye open.

My official rating:

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Young Tom Hanks Wears Briefs & Yells A Lot At Slobbery Dog

Once I remember who put this on my “must-see” list, I’m going to send them the bill for my new hearing aids. WHY DOES TOM HANKS YELL THE ENTIRE MOVIE?!

This image pretty much sums up “Turner & Hooch” for me:

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I mean, there are some cute things about this movie like a young Tom Hanks wearing briefs and yelling a lot at a slobbery dog. But I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t spend 90% of the movie browsing Pinterest. No shame.

Just so you don’t think I’m a heartless jerk though, here’s this:

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Awwwwww… Now, back to browsing Pinterest.

My official reaction:

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