They’re Here…

…And I wish they weren’t.

There is no way I could have watched this movie when it was released as I was technically -3 years old. And for that, I am truly grateful. Did you guys think I wouldn’t notice that this movie is so terribly awful that I almost clawed my own face off?

In case you care, here are my initial reactions about a few things that went down in “Poltergeist”:

-When little Carole Anne started talking to the tv and no one thought this was cause for alarm. Um, no.

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-When the Freeling family started playing human shuffle board with ghosts in their kitchen INSTEAD GETTING THE HECK OUTTA DODGE. Um, no.

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-But then the ghosts got tired of playing games and were all like, “Let’s have the tree eat Robbie. That’d be fun.” Um, no.

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-Let’s not forget about Carole Anne getting sucked into closet purgatory. Um, no.

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-At this point I was already done with this movie, so let’s speed it up… The Freelings bring in some other weirdo’s to help clean things up, including this obnoxious grandma with a baby voice. She succeeds at getting Carole Anne out of closet purgatory and says some dumb stuff like, “This house is clean”. Hahahaha… Um, no.

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-And then the Freelings were like, “That’s it, we’re moving. But first, let’s spend another night in this haunted house”. Um, no.

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Buncha stupid heads.

Now that I’ve taken you through the horror that is “Poltergeist”, I hope we can all agree upon one thing…

My official rating:

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One thought on “They’re Here…

  1. […] -Pet Sematary -Planes, Trains, and Automobiles -Police Academy -Police Academy 2+ -Poltergeist -Predator -The Princess Bride […]

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