…And I wish they weren’t.
There is no way I could have watched this movie when it was released as I was technically -3 years old. And for that, I am truly grateful. Did you guys think I wouldn’t notice that this movie is so terribly awful that I almost clawed my own face off?
In case you care, here are my initial reactions about a few things that went down in “Poltergeist”:
-When little Carole Anne started talking to the tv and no one thought this was cause for alarm. Um, no.
-When the Freeling family started playing human shuffle board with ghosts in their kitchen INSTEAD GETTING THE HECK OUTTA DODGE. Um, no.
-But then the ghosts got tired of playing games and were all like, “Let’s have the tree eat Robbie. That’d be fun.” Um, no.
-Let’s not forget about Carole Anne getting sucked into closet purgatory. Um, no.
-At this point I was already done with this movie, so let’s speed it up… The Freelings bring in some other weirdo’s to help clean things up, including this obnoxious grandma with a baby voice. She succeeds at getting Carole Anne out of closet purgatory and says some dumb stuff like, “This house is clean”. Hahahaha… Um, no.
-And then the Freelings were like, “That’s it, we’re moving. But first, let’s spend another night in this haunted house”. Um, no.
Buncha stupid heads.
Now that I’ve taken you through the horror that is “Poltergeist”, I hope we can all agree upon one thing…
My official rating: