Hey, You Got This

46 days, 11 hours, and 48 minutes have passed since I became a mother.

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Canyon came swiftly into our world 3 weeks early on March 22nd at 8:08am, after 8 hours of intense labor. I gave birth to him at home, holding onto our beat-up Ikea dresser, while the morning sun leaked through the bedroom window. The first hands to touch him were his daddy’s. The second were mine.

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For the rest of the world it was just another normal Tuesday. For me, it was the start of one of the greatest adventures of my life: Motherhood. As we stared at our newly minted son for the first time, I felt a weighty responsibility.

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Will I be a good mom?
Will I be loving enough?
Tough enough?
Patient enough?
Will I say the right things at the right time?
What if others judge me for my parenting choices?
Do I have to start wearing mom jeans?
Will I lose myself in parenthood?

Will I be like my mom? Or not enough like her?

But just as quickly as those self-doubting questions came, they were replaced with excitement, heart-bursting love, and a self assuredness that I’ve never felt before. It’s like a tiny voice whispered to me, “Hey, you got this”.

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I won’t always be loving enough, tough enough, patient enough. I won’t always say the right things at the right time, but I will try. Others will most likely judge me for my parenting choices. I’ll probably lose myself a little and own at least one pair of mom jeans. And best case scenario, I’ll be like my mom.

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As I type this one-handed while nursing sweet baby Canyon, I’m feeling pretty stoked about my new title. “Mommy” does have a pretty boss ring to it, doesn’t it? And to all of you new moms who have ever had those same self-doubting questions, let me be the little voice that says, “Hey, you got this”.

Happy Mother’s Day.

 

(A special thanks to our doula and birth photographer, Jodi Kaldestad, for these beautiful photos. Youdabest.)

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2 thoughts on “Hey, You Got This

  1. Karen Purdy says:

    You are correct on all the questions, A+ on your self-quiz! Enjoy EVERY moment, and when the laundry is calling or the dirty dishes in the sink or the umpteen kajillion other distractions that vy for your affection yet that still, small voice in your heart is drawn to your child, listen to your heart. For you will blink & he will be all grown up. Even after hearing “momma” a million times, it still has a sweetness to it (except when repeated over & over deliberately because he thinks you didn’t hear him the first 17 times). When you say bedtime prayers with him, thank God out loud for the amazing blessing that a he is, and ask for the wisdom to be a godly mom – still out loud with him, so he is reminded of your gratefulness & the direction of your parental ambition. Sounds like you have had a fabulous start, I’m so happy for you!!

    Like

  2. Eva says:

    Beautifully written!!

    Like

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