Big Nopety Nope Nope

Let me start off by saying before God and everyone who is reading this post that if you recommended this movie to me, you need to buy me a cup of coffee and very carefully EXPLAIN WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU.

(Breath. Calm down, Anna.)

Anyways.

So, I watched the movie “Big” a couple of months back on a plane (which happens to be the worst place to watch a movie that completely makes you question the saneness of humanity and WHY EVERYONE THINKS THIS MOVIE IS SO FREAKING ADORABLE, BUT IT’S NOT AND I’LL TELL YOU WHYYYYYYYYY!).

(Sorry, I’m having a hard time with my capslock button right now.)

I’ll walk you quickly through my thoughts while watching “Big”. It goes like this:

Awww, cute. Kid get’s his wish to be big. That’ll be fun for a day or two!

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Awww, cute. He’s still acting like a kid in his grownup body. Cause, he’s a kid. Make’s sense. 

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Awww, cute. He get’s to play with toys all day. Gimme dat job already! 

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Hmmm, ok. This is kinda weird. Cause he’s a kid… 

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Hmmm, ok. What?! Somebody clue her in already that he is a C-H-I-L-D. 

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Oh, good. Scriptwriter came to his senses. Pwew. Let’s go back to cuteness. 

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Um. I…

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Can’t…

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EVENNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

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He’s 13 years old people. How is this ok on any level! 

Ok. I have to stop here because my blood pressure can’t take it.

Let me just wrap this up by saying that I might give this lady a pass for unknowingly bedding a child, but then she straight-up watches him shrink in his suit and is kinda like, “Awww, cute.”

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Every single person on the credit list for this movie is CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS.

My official reaction:

big

 

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One thought on “Big Nopety Nope Nope

  1. Paul S says:

    It’s not big and it’s not clever. The film not your post!

    Liked by 1 person

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