Category Archives: Parenthood

Hey, You Got This

46 days, 11 hours, and 48 minutes have passed since I became a mother.

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Canyon came swiftly into our world 3 weeks early on March 22nd at 8:08am, after 8 hours of intense labor. I gave birth to him at home, holding onto our beat-up Ikea dresser, while the morning sun leaked through the bedroom window. The first hands to touch him were his daddy’s. The second were mine.

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For the rest of the world it was just another normal Tuesday. For me, it was the start of one of the greatest adventures of my life: Motherhood. As we stared at our newly minted son for the first time, I felt a weighty responsibility.

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Will I be a good mom?
Will I be loving enough?
Tough enough?
Patient enough?
Will I say the right things at the right time?
What if others judge me for my parenting choices?
Do I have to start wearing mom jeans?
Will I lose myself in parenthood?

Will I be like my mom? Or not enough like her?

But just as quickly as those self-doubting questions came, they were replaced with excitement, heart-bursting love, and a self assuredness that I’ve never felt before. It’s like a tiny voice whispered to me, “Hey, you got this”.

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I won’t always be loving enough, tough enough, patient enough. I won’t always say the right things at the right time, but I will try. Others will most likely judge me for my parenting choices. I’ll probably lose myself a little and own at least one pair of mom jeans. And best case scenario, I’ll be like my mom.

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As I type this one-handed while nursing sweet baby Canyon, I’m feeling pretty stoked about my new title. “Mommy” does have a pretty boss ring to it, doesn’t it? And to all of you new moms who have ever had those same self-doubting questions, let me be the little voice that says, “Hey, you got this”.

Happy Mother’s Day.

 

(A special thanks to our doula and birth photographer, Jodi Kaldestad, for these beautiful photos. Youdabest.)

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Mix Tapes < Burned CDs < Playlists

 

Do you remember the first song that gave you goosebumps?

What song makes you cry EVERY TIME YOU HEAR IT?

What song was playing the first time you held hands with a boy? (This was the “couples skate” song at the local skating rink and since they only ever used one song for that, it happened to be playing for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th time I ever held hands with a boy.)

What was playing on the stereo when you had your first car accident?

How about the first “our song” you ever had with someone?

What song escorted you to the altar on your wedding day?

How about a song that makes you miss your parents?

Do you know the first song you ever put on a mix tape? I do. 

Yeah. It’s not the greatest song in the world. But as an 11 year old with a tape player, a good as-long-as-I-don’t-move-the-antenna signal to a rock station and a blank cassette, it was EPIC. (I’m pretty sure that song was followed by a Garth Brooks number, but we’ll just let that one slide).

I bring all of this up and break the blogging mold of what I normally write about because my friend Becca recently reminded me about how much I love to share music.

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It started out with mix tapes with songs recorded off the radio, then in the early 2000’s it was burned CDs decorated with Sharpies and stickers. Now, it’s digital playlists (and still sometimes a CD whenever the need calls for it).

I share music because it connects us; it’s a universal language that everyone speaks. I share music because I want someone to feel the same way I feel when I hear a song that makes me pause and think.  I share music because it reminds me of important times in my life that I never want to forget.

In April, I’ll have a new little person in my life to share music with. In fact, I’ve already made him a playlist or two…

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And I hope he remembers the first song that ever gave him goosebumps. Because I’ll ALWAYS remember the first song I heard when I found out he was joining our family.

Oh and hey Becca. I made this for you:
http://8tracks.com/annafwinters-655/songs-that-could-sorta-be-about-love

 

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New Section Coming to the Blog…

…Anna Reacts to Parenthood!

The day I found out that I had a bun in the oven, Stephen had just left for a conference in Los Angeles. I was home alone and FREAKING OUT! So, I sat down and wrote “Until We Meet” in a record 15 minutes. It’s like my heart knew exactly what it wanted to say!

And here’s the really cool thing: Two days before I found out about Baby Winters, my sister told me she was pregnant! Our due dates are only 4 days apart. Wowza!

Just look at their super cute announcement. Baby bicycles!

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And here’s a screengrab from when the two of us told my Mom that’s she’s going to be a grandmother x2 next year:

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So, I guess I better start checking those movie classics off my list before the little one comes, yeah? Oh and no more Culinary30 adventures either. My gag reflex is even worse than usual these days… 😉

*Download a copy of “Until We Meet” here: https://annafwinters.bandcamp.com/track/until-we-meet

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