So, I’ve finished watching Episodes 4, 5, and 6 for the “Star Wars” trilogy finally… It only took me 30 years!
(Side note: I’ve been advised by many to NOT watch Episodes 1, 2, & 3 right now, which is good ’cause I’m so over “Star Wars” at the moment). And now I feel fully prepared to watch “The Force Awakens” come December. But what say ye?
Let’s get back to the task at hand…
Here are my favorite moments from “Star Wars – Episode VI: Return of the Jedi”:
-Ewoks. Freakin’ cute, little, Robin Hood-like teddy bears. I can haz one?
-Ewoks With Weapons. But like, I’d want them on my side in any fight.
-Baby Ewoks. I want to squeeze it!
-Ewok Shindigs. Parrrrtaaayyy.
Ok, ok. Enough about Ewoks. There were other things I loved…
-Speeder Bikes! I can haz one of these too? Zoom zoom. (Even cooler when driven by Ewoks.)
-Non-Incestuous smooching. PS: His breath must STINK after being frozen for that long.
-The Rancor Fight. That was pretty entertaining. And gross. And a little bit scary.
-This guys reaction afterwards. Awww. So sad!
-Han’s reaction when he finds out that Luke & Leia are twins. Yeah, dude. They made out.
Before I react to watching “Star Wars: Episode V” for the first time, I’d like to reenact for you a super horrific discovery I had over dinner w/ some work pals mere days before watching “The Empire Strikes Back”…
Coworker #1: “Man, I’m not getting much sleep lately. We’ve got some Jedi Twins living above us.”
Me: “What are Jedi Twins?”
Coworker #1: “Uh….”
Coworker #2: “You know, like Luke and Leia!”
Me: Pausing for a minute to ingest what I’d just heard before proclaiming loudly to the whole restaurant, “Luke and Leia are siblings?!?!”
Now, I’ve experienced quite a bit of devastation in my life, like that one time I dropped a half-eaten Dilly Bar on the ground a few minutes ago. But you DO NOT KNOW the devastation I felt finding out that the two characters in Star Wars (whom I thought were going to make sweet, little rebel babies together) were in fact, twins. And on top of that, everyone in my immediate surroundings let me go on and on about how cute of a couple they made. Blech!
So (coming back to square one now) here is my reaction to “Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back” in light of this life-altering information:
Huh? What’s that you ask? What about the whole “Luke, I’m your father” thing? Pshhhhhh… Big deal. I KNEW ABOUT THAT ONE ALREADY.
Anywho, here’s to hoping they find out they are siblings soon. Maybe their friends will tell them over dinner.
On May the 4th this year, I FINALLY sat down and watched “Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope″. It was a truly momentous occasion. So that I could focus 100% of my attention on the movie, I asked my friend Lin if he wouldn’t mind blogging about his experience watching me watch “Star Wars” for the very first time. Here is his reaction:
A long time ago, in a galaxy not so far, far away…
(Literally the same one you are in right now).
New and Hopeless
(Anna Reacts Edition)
(as in I was ROFL the whole time)
It has been 38 years since the day Rebel spaceships struck from a hidden base and won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire. The day was May Fourth, Two Thousand and Fifteen. The Jedi council had assembled at the Jedi temple… Well, it was actually Jedi Master Rhysi’s apartment in the West End. It was high up and had a great view of the sunset. So, yeah. Close enough to Corusant.
Anyway, the council that included Jedi Master Rhysi Claringbullus, Jedi Master Steph Winteru, and myself, Jedi Master Li Nayet Ut, gathered together to discuss why the force is weak with this one particular padawan. If you ask her, she probably doesn’t know what a padawan is, as if she has been living under a rock in swamps of Dagobah. (I can already hear her asking where that is.) The three of us agreed it was time for her to learn the way of the force properly and the first day of school was obviously Star Wars Day…. And yes, I am aware the names need work.
After we watched the single sunset fade off into night, we finally took Padawan Anna through a Star Wars hyperdrive crash course in less than twelve parsecs. These were the most memorable quotes from the night that made the Galactic Empire Buzzfeed list:
1) Anna on Tattooine sunsets: “Double sunset… That’s cool. I thought it was accidental lens flare.”
2. Anna on Luke meeting Leia for the first time: “He’s young. She’s young. They’re in love.”
3. Anna on Luke’s house in Tattooine: “These look like fun little huts.”
4. Anna on opening sequence: “Where’s earth?”
All of us: “No earth.”
Anna: “But, where’s earth?“ “No Earth!”
A few minutes later and a new planet on screen: “Is this Earth?”
5. Anna on plans for Death Star attack: “This sounds like a sex ed class.” (It was about lasers going into holes.)
6. Anna on seeing Luke’s Aunt for the first time: “Why does she look like she’s from a western? And everyone else looks like monks.”
7. Anna on Obiwan chopping hand off in Cantina scene and how none of the customers reacted to the fight: “No big deal, just a hand on the ground. Freaking Game of Thrones up in here.”
8. Anna on Obiwan: “Obi? That’s a name of a tampon! (It is. I checked.)
9. Anna on the force being around us, in us and being everywhere: “Sounds like Facebook.”
10. Anna on C3PO: “C3PO didn’t do anything! I just wanna melt him down and make a bracelet!”
11. Anna on seeing Obi Wan for the first time: “Obiwan… That’s not his father.”
12. Anna on R2 saving the day multiple times: “This little droid (R2D2) is the key to it all? That’s messed up.”
13. “Look at him!” (Luke staring at Leia.) He’s desperate!”
14. Anna on the look and sound of lightsabers: “Lightsabers remind me of bug zappers.”
15. “Is he crying?” (Luke sad after Obiwan dying.) “Don’t cry in front of the girl.“
We’ve barely scratched the surface. Can’t wait to hear what she has to say about “Empire Strikes Back”.